BP Stations Have Essentially No Relationship To BP! No, Seriously, We Swear!

Today’s Miami Herald, helpfully annotated by an eagle-eyed local newspaper reader (who relies a little too much on his bike and not enough on FINE BP GAS PRODUCTS, in our opinion!), sends great news that should hearten all proud BP customers everywhere! You see, BP franchises, they don’t even buy their gas from BP. That’s right. No relationship whatsoever to the company with that very minor oil spill in the gulf of Mexico! The paper proves it in an interview with a franchisee: “Owners like Paz get their gas from a local distributor, not the company directly. She has no closer relationship to the crude oil company than she does to Coca-Cola.” That’s right! Buy with a clean conscience! Be ashamed of your protest!